Happy October everybody! BEST MONTH EVER! Fall flavors, pumpkins, Halloween (my birthday!), what’s not to love!? It’s a winning combination of awesomeness! You know what else is a winning combo? Chocolate + peanut butter + pretzels = lots of drooling. These Monster Cookies have it all and more!
WARNING: Let me first start off by giving you fair warning that the following post is packed full of tasty nuggets, Halloween humor and a heaping pile of poo jokes. (See? Gotcha already.)
There has been quite the debate going around about what to name these cookies. The idea started because I wanted to make “monster cookies”, like the giant M&M and oatmeal stuffed cookies you get at all the best local coffee shops – sans raisins (because raisins have no place in chocolate chip cookies and whomever decided to do that is straight up evil).
Then as I was browsing stuffing my cart with all of the cute Halloween goodies in the $1 section of Target (which was also probably created by those same raisin loving evil-doers) I had the idea to make these monster cookies into actual monsters. Even better!
So the idea of “melted” monster cookies was what I started with. I wanted a chocolate cookie base because 1. the bright M&M colors would pop in the dark dough and 2. more chocolate, duh. I subbed the oats for crushed pretzels and mashed it all together. Hmmm… Monster Mashup Cookies! “Do the Monster Mash!” Get it!?
P.S. I was really bummed that I could not find the brightly colored Halloween M&M candies that I wanted. I found all kinds of fall colored ones (red, brown, orange) but nothing with the bright purple, green and black like you usually see. There was plenty of Halloween swag out, so I don’t know if it was just too early in the season or if they are doing something different this year with all the weird fall flavored M&Ms instead. (Pumpkin Spice, Boo-terscotch, Pecan Pie, Candy Corn…really guys? I just want purple and orange M&Ms! Kay, thanks.)
Anyway, as the monster cookies started coming together, they began to take on a new appearance…less like my first idea and more like “number two”.
And that brings us back to the naming debate…
Because what else do you call something that looks like what might come out of the wrong end of a monster after he has eaten a handful of trick-or-treaters? Monsturds. ??? (of course!)
While I was giggling more than a little kid in a whoopee cushion store, some of my fellow gal-pals weren’t so keen on the idea. Normally I would agree with them and caution against naming your food items after their digestive end scene, but it’s Halloween (and it’s hilarious) so who gives a poo!
How freaking FUN would these Monster Cookies be on your Halloween treat table or as a funny “trick” for the young’uns?
But don’t worry kiddies, there is nothing but deliciousness inside these cookies! I mean just look at this spread!
The proof is in the poo-ding (okay, that pun was pretty bad). But really, there is chocolate pudding in these cookies! It’s the (not-so) secret ingredient that makes them oh sooooo stinking good! Rich chocolatey fudge cookies stuffed with chocolate chunks, peanut butter pieces and pretzel bits, to add a pinch of salt to every bite. So. Much. Yum!
So without further ado, I bring you “Melted Monster Cookies” aka “Monster Mashup Cookies” aka “Monster Poo Patties” aka “Monsturds”.
Excuse me for a moment while I burst into yet another fit of giggles because I am perpetually five years old and because admit it, poo jokes are funny as, well…poo.
- 18 cookies
Ingredients
- 1 c butter, softened (2 sticks)
- 1/4 c sugar
- 3/4 c brown sugar
- 1 pkg chocolate instant pudding mix, small (3.4 oz)
- 2 eggs
- 2 tsp. vanilla extract
- 2 1/2 c all purpose flour
- 1/4 tsp. salt
- 1 tsp. baking soda
- 3 tbsp. milk
- 1 c pretzel pieces (plus extra for garnish)
- 1 c m&m candies
- 1/2 c peanut butter chips
- 1/2 c chocolate chunks
- 1/4 c candy eyeballs (give or take)
Instructions
- Preheat oven to 350º degrees F. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper or a silicone parchment mat. In a medium sized bowl add the flour, salt, and baking soda. Gently whisk to combine. Set aside.
- In a large bowl beat the butter and sugars together until smooth and creamy. Beat in the pudding mix. Add eggs, one at a time, beating after each addition until incorporated. Mix in the vanilla.
- Slowly add the dry ingredients into the wet mixture (about a 1/2 cup at a time) mixing until just incorporated between each addition. Add in the milk. The milk is going to give the monster dough just a little extra moisture and stickiness that will soon be sucked up by all of the goodies that you are adding (especially the pretzels!).
- Once your dough is ready, dump the pretzel pieces (I just broke up snack size pretzels by hand), M&Ms, peanut butter chips and chocolate chunks into the dough and mix them all in together good! Poke in some extra broken pretzel pieces and candy eyeballs to the tops of each cookie to give them an extra gnarly look or to create a monster face!
- Drop a heaping pile (about 3 tbsp) of monster dough onto a baking sheet. I could fit about 6 cookies on my half-sheet baking pan. Bake for 10-12 minutes. Remove from the oven and let cool on a baking rack. Enjoy with a tall glass of chocolate milk!
There you have it! Easy as poo! ?
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